Wednesday, August 8, 2007

I don't want to go to school!

Those words are being uttered by me, rather than my very excited five year old who will be starting Kindergarten in less than three weeks. I always knew that this day would come but boy, I just don't think I'm ready.

Don't get me wrong, this actually has nothing to do with my son growing up and starting a new phase in his life (as most moms would confess to being upset with). This is totally about my insecurity as a mother and a person. Back when I was in school I wasn't popular but since I was an athlete, I hung out with a pretty popular crowd. I basically floated my way through high school without any permanent damage. So, when we had kids, I assumed that I would have plenty of time to work myself up to going back to school. My husband and I decided that we were going to enroll our kids in Catholic school. This concept was completely foreign to me as I had attended public schools my entire life. Whereas, my husband had attended private, Catholic schools for the majority of his life. I'll admit, I was completely against it in the beginning but eventually we decided that it would be best for our family. Once that decision was made and our son was accepted, the true panic began to sink in for me. This arena was completely new to me, school is school, but when you're paying for it, I believe that it changes everything.

So, what brought on all this panic, my son's school supply sale. How harmless could that be? You go in, get supplies, find out what teacher he has and poof, you're done! Not so much. I decided to take the day off from work because I had a lot of other errands to run as well so I thought I'd spend the day playing catch up. I decided to go first thing in the morning because I figured no one would be there. Much to my surprise, the parking lot was PACKED! I couldn't believe it but decided that I just simply needed to get it over with. I walked in and a very sweet woman could tell by the distraught look on my face that I had no clue as to what I was doing and offered to help. Bless you! I proceeded to tell her that we were new to the school and I wasn't sure where to begin. She graciously pointed me to all the areas that I needed to visit and said that I could come back and ask her any questions that I had.

Everyone's chatting away and I looked like I had no clue as to what was going on. It reminded me of a section that I have been reading in Queen Bee Moms and Kingpin Dads (by Rosalind Wiseman & Elizabeth Rapoport) which describes how adults are in these categories based on their personalities. I absolutely love this book because had someone written a teenage version of these scenarios when I was in high school, I would have ruled the school! Bottom line, I survived the first of soon to be many trips to school but I know that it will get easier (right?) as we get more comfortable with the environment. I just hope that my sons don't take after their paranoid mom!

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